Edit and make some changes for this persuasive essay

Edit and make some changes for this persuasive essay

My persuasive essay (legalization of fur coats) have some problems. So, I need you to make some changes and edit something. There are some problems are about bodies paragraphs, I need you to make changes and try to explain or focus on one thing in each body paragraph because my body paragraphs are very messy. So, thats why I need you to do this. Also there are some problems in the essay and my teacher already gave me some suggestions and I upload the suggestions in the attach file. So, please read the instructions carefully.