Revise my essay to be a metaphoric one like Brian Doyle’s “Joyas Voladoras”

Revise my essay to be a metaphoric one like Brian Doyle’s “Joyas Voladoras”

Hello, I hope you remember me it’s Wesley Callahan I talked with you the other day. I got my grade back on the paper about Solar power and I got a 90%. But it’s not his so I need your help and after talking with you, you are the right person that I think can help me. Here is the link to Brian Doyle’s essay: https://theamericanscholar.org/joyas-volardores/ I’ve attached my essay and the comments. Please as I’m very technical and not strong with this thanks….