My First White Friend

My First White Friend is a short novel about the discourse of hatred and forgiveness and the perfect way to conquer ones fears. It is a detailed account of how the writer learnt to love white friend and the forgiveness she gave to the white people. Patricia Raybon mixes between styles of journal, memoir and social analysis analyses the dangerous choice of forgiveness. The book ascertains that the risk of forgiveness is not in loving the white but in learning to love oneself. Patricia Raybon is a former journalist who has written for famous magazines such as The New York Times and The Denver Post. Her experience in journalism provided an important ground for her writings on race, family and culture. She is an associate professor of Journalism University of Colorado. The book, My First White Friend, has received many awards including an award for artistic excellence in the field of literature.

The book is about Raybon’s journey from birth to maturity detailing how she survived as a black woman in a white dominated society[1]. The society she is raised in is dominated by whites who oppress the African Americans with impunity. At first, the writer details accounts of how whites abused the blacks and how it affected her into hating the whites. To her, they were all evil and did not respect the African Americans they existed with. In her school, she was one of the only four graduating African Americans that graduated making the assertion of a white dominated society even more realistic.

The writer confesses to having grown hatred for whites as a result of her experiences as well as memories of her father’s mistreatment at the hands of the white men[2]. Later on, the writer discovers that the hatred she holds for white people is doing her more harm than good. Essentially, the hatred was eating her alive as she could only view herself through the eyes of the white men.  Eventually, she makes a decision of embracing religion in an attempt to forgive both seethe white man and herself. The white Americans are forgiven for their misunderstanding, belittling and wounding of black Americans. In addition, she forgives herself and her community for focusing most of her efforts in hating members of the white society[3].

The book explores the link of interracial sex which was viewed as a taboo and how African Americans and whites did not mix in social places. The writer later suggests that the only healing to the problem of racial discrimination is through love. It appears that the writer takes mentorship from the likes of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther who have all realized that hatred is not a remedy to discrimination. In another confession, the writer marries a light skinned black man which explains the racial segregation that was prevalent during her days[4]. On the other hand, the lighter complexion of the man made the writer to initiate a prejudice of her own skin color making her feel more inferior because she was darker as compared to the husband. Eventually, however, the writer learns to appreciate herself and to let go of the hatred she had harbored against the whites.

The book is marvelous in its style and allows one to savor the language which has beautifully crafted poignant prose. It is a slow read that incorporates rich literature in every single phrase and paragraph. The literary style used is compelling and opens up one’s mind on the race relations in America and far beyond. The piece incorporates different literal styles to communicate the writer’s deeper understanding of the aspects of forgiveness. Moreover, the themes of love and confession are well articulated through a free flowing expose of the writer’s experiences. Overall, the writer is effective in communicating the message of forgiveness of not only the wrongdoers but also the forgiveness of oneself for the mistake of not forgiving others before.

The book further analyses the themes of liberation and redemption through the eyes of the oppressed. The writer asserts that the “idiocy of hating white people”[5] left her in a lonely state where death was closer than life. The book communicates the hardship of taking the route of forgiveness in fear of the risks involved and the pain of forgiveness. Indeed, it is clear that it is only through forgiveness that the heart of the victims of any wrongdoing can be healed. The writer only received healing and redemption after accepting to let go of her past and the pain that she endured under the domination of whites[6]. The use of the writer’s personal account of her experiences is effective in addressing the issues of liberation and redemption in a society laden with prejudice and racism.

In essence, the book is fair in that it cuts across both sectors of the society and condemns both the whites and blacks for their roles ion fueling hatred in the society. While the whites have perpetuated racism and prejudice against the blacks, the latter are also to blame for accepting to be influenced into hating the whites. It is only through the embrace of forgiveness that black people can forget the past and live in harmony with the whites.

 

 Bibliography

Raybon, Patricia. 1996. My first white friend: confessions on race, love, and forgiveness. New York: Viking.

[1] Raybon, Patricia. 1996. My first white friend: confessions on race, love, and forgiveness. New York: Viking.

[2] Raybon, Patricia. 1996. My first white friend: confessions on race, love, and forgiveness. New York: Viking.

[3] Raybon, Patricia. 1996. My first white friend: confessions on race, love, and forgiveness. New York: Viking.

[4]Raybon, Patricia. 1996. My first white friend: confessions on race, love, and forgiveness. New York: Viking.

[5] Raybon, Patricia. 1996. My first white friend: confessions on race, love, and forgiveness. New York: Viking.

[6] Raybon, Patricia. 1996. My first white friend: confessions on race, love, and forgiveness. New York: Viking.

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