Gay couples should be allowed equal adoption rights

Gay couples should be allowed equal adoption rights

Imagine a child sitting at a foster care home filled with depression, anxiety, and eyes filled with tears. The child does not have a parent to hold him when he is scared, no warmth of an embrace to calm his fears down, there is no mummy or daddy to look up to. This child hopes for a better tomorrow, but there is no hope in sight, just emptiness and a bleak horizon. Then picture a happily married gay couple with a desire to have children asking to take this child home. They want to take care of the child, but society or the government does not deem it proper for them to do that. This situation is far from being fair to both the child and the couple seeking to adopt him. However, some authors like Darrel Montero do not see any problem with this situation. This paper examines the arguments of author Darrel Montero Regarding gay couples adoption and offers counter-evidence stating why gay couples should be allowed the right to adopt children as well.

First of all, opponents of gay adoption like Darrel Montero argue that although passage is meant to provide a child with a mother and a father, the adoption process is now being used as an avenue to promote gay rights. They argue that efforts to advance the rights of homosexuals many at times prioritize the individual desire to be a parent as opposed to the child’s need for a father and a mother (Montero 446). They add that every child has the right to a father and a mother, but in the gay family that right is deliberately denied which is a fundamental violation of the child’s rights. This argument is not valid because children with no homes do not have the option to choose between a married father and mother or some parents. The fact is that these children do not have a father or a mother and there are not enough married heterosexual couples who are interested in adoption or foster care. It is a high time that the adoption and foster care policies accept that gay couples contribute a lot in giving children happy homes or otherwise these children will never have loving, stable homes. Gay parents are also human and have a heart. They can provide love, parental care, and necessary support to the adopted child if the idea is solely from them.

Secondly, Darrel Montero argues that diversity is always a more significant stimulus to development as compared to equality. He claims that the last 40 years of research have shown that fathers and mothers each make an indispensable and distinct contribution to a child’s healthy development. According to him, a child growing up in a gay family is thus at a disadvantage from the beginning of their development (Montero 448). To oppose this notion, children with no homes do not have either a father or a mother to act as role models. They end up getting their role models from many other places which may sometimes not be so kind such as destructive neighbors. Using a case by case evaluation, trained professionals in the adoption field can ensure that the child to be adopted stays in an environment with adequate role models of different types. They may include aunts, uncles, and grandparents even if gay couples are taking them. Having role models will ensure that the child grows with a positive attitude and having someone to depend on. In as much as the parents may be gay, they may end up having exemplary achievements that will see the child growing up admiring them.

Another common argument by Darrel Montero is that if either the mother or father are lacking in a child’s life such as in single-parent families, the child gets the opportunity to mourn this loss and deal with it constructively. They argue however that if a child receives teachings that a gay family is complete, this prevents them from mourning the loss of the birth father or mother, and this will have destructive impacts on the child’s psychological development (Montero 452). This argument is not a valid one because, in a gay family, the child receives teachings that the family is complete. They grow up knowing that they have both parents. This scenario is an advantage to the child because it prevents them from having to deal with any loss and to appreciate the family that they have. Coping with loss and having to mourn as well as being neglected or abandoned by one parent can have severe effects on a child’s development.  These effects such as low self-esteem may lead to the child getting stressed and feeling out of place amongst his/ her peers. However, having to grow up with both parents regardless of their sex will ensure that the child grows up healthy developmentally.

Montero also argues that there are significant differences between the lifestyles of gay couples and heterosexual couples. He contends that the promiscuity of gay people living together is much higher than that of a common mother-father relationship. To him, this has a destructive effect on the bonding and emotional needs of a child (Montero 453). To oppose this view, however, just like any other adults in this state, the majority of gay couples are in stable, committed relationships. Some of these relationships do have problems just like heterosexual relationships do, and so this should not be an issue to be considered. The adoption screening process is a very rigorous one which includes interviews with prospective parents and extended home visits. All of the evidence shows that gay couples can and do make excellent parents. There has not been any study in the recent past showing that children being raised by gay parents being disadvantaged in any way.  The kind of environment provided by gay parents to the adopted children is also likely to give a room for psychological growth for the child. It is therefore essential that gay couples undergo evaluation like any other couple who want to adopt to determine their eligibility. People may be surprised to find out that gay parents are way sweeter and loving to the adopted child than foster heterosexual parents would have been.

At the moment, there is a critical shortage of foster parents all around the world. As a result, many children do not have permanent homes and others are forced to survive in different substandard foster homes. Many of these children have often been perceived as ‘unadoptable’ because they are not healthy or may have adopted bad morals. There is evidence documenting that these children suffer serious damage emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. Children in many times become victims of the ‘foster care shuffle’ which leads to emotional problems, delinquency, substance abuse, and academic problems. These children need care and a home. Many gay couples would wish to adopt these children and give them their best chance to be raised in a loving and stable home. Denying these couples the rights to adopt children is the same as denying these children an opportunity for a better life. Every child needs a place to call home and a family to come back to in any situation. The gay parents can as well provide this home for the adopted child.

In conclusion, there is no harm in giving gay couples the right to child adoption. In as much as society regards same-sex relationships as evil, they too should be allowed to make their own choices. Provided a couple can provide for the adopted child or children, they should have an opportunity to raise children just like heterosexual couples. Many children in foster homes are suffering because heterosexual parents are not willing to adopt them. Therefore it is okay if an interested gay couple wills to adopt the child and being able to provide for him/her.  Considering their feelings should also matter as opposed to just discriminating them because of their status.


Works cited

Montero, Darrel. “Attitudes toward same-gender adoption and parenting: An analysis of surveys from 16 countries.” Advances in Social Work 15.2 (2014): 444-459.

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