Relationships with other people can be influenced although people are capable of having an identity which they maintain. Gregen posits that would have emotional distress should they attempt to forge their own identity(413), which I disagree with. Gergen also claims that interactions and society influence human behavior which is notable in the society. I agree with most of Gregen’s notions like approval makes individuals adopt different identities, positive influence affects perception and the detrimental impact of society’s value on identity, but I differ with the view that it is impossible to form an individual sense of identity.

Seeking approval from other people makes individuals adapt to different identities. Gergen (414) states that when people want the support of the public, they take up a range of different personalities.I once had a classmate that was running for class president. Although already popular, she wanted to secure a victory against the incumbent, who was just as well liked. Henceforth,she attended choir practice, ran the track with students, and even hung out with the math geeks. In my opinion, she tried too much. However, her chameleon-like character won over the students, and she won the elections with a landslide. It is true that people would do behave in any way that would give them any form of gain. I believe it is human nature and there is nothing wrong with it. I feel that it is ingrained in our existence as our survival depends on it. Therefore, I admit that Gergen is right to say that people will change their traits to get their way.

Equally, I agree that social circumstances shape our identity. Gergen states that people are made of soft plastic and are shaped by social circumstances (414). Our interaction with other people indeed shapes the personality that we adopt. The most significant evidence of social circumstances is notable in family dynamics. I, for instance, know what would make my mother angry or happy, and modify my behavior accordingly. My mother has a weakness for homemade chocolate chip cookies, which I usually bake for her when I need a favor from her. She knows that it is a ruse, but she enjoys it. Comparatively, when we visit our conservative grandmother, we have to put on long dresses, as she does not believe young ladies should wear trousers, and watch how we eat.Social circumstances force people to do what they would otherwise not do without the influence. In fact, I contend that we portray different versions of ourselves when in different social settings even without realizing it. Our soft plastic nature makes it easy to adapt to the needs of other people. It is true that social circumstances influence our responses, which we regularly change often without even being aware of our actions.

Similarly, it is true that positive feedback influences our perception about ourselves. There is an experiment in the text in which a clinical trainee asked the participants questions about themselves. In a later experiment, those who had received positive comments from the clinical trainee equally posted high-esteem scores in the other test (414). I agree with the findings of the test. As social beings, we are susceptible to influence and behavior of other people. If someone says something good about us, we are happy and feel energized. The reverse also holds true, yet the impacts last for a very long time. Growing up, my friend Mark was often made fun of because of his weight. With the constant mocking, he had become withdrawn and showed very little interest in playing with other people. Then on one weekend, he attended a social group that encouraged people with Mark’s problem.Within two weeks, he had completely transformed his life. Nothing anyone said about his weight could dampen his day. Whenever the feeling of self-loathing came to him, he would recite the words that his mentor told him, “Mark, you are a special and God made you in his likeness.” With those words, Mark has remained a positive being to date.Another instance is notable in social media use. Currently, there is a myriad of social media platforms where people comment and like posts made by other individuals. The more a person can attract likes on their page, the more encouraged they feel to post more images and comments. In fact, such activities are rewarded nowadays. Social media influencers are offered partnerships with brands to promote their products because of their massive following. The enormous following also improves the esteem of the individuals, who even feel like celebrities. To the individual, the positive response not only encourages them to post more, which makes them feel good, but they even get paid for it, which is another reward altogether. As long as we depend on each other, we will always be vulnerable to the influences of others, and positive ones boost our self-worth.

It is true that society’s value on identity could be detrimental. Gergen notes that the society’s standards of identity are warranted and could even be harmful (415). Society often times spells out how people should behave in different contexts, which forces individuals to conform to oppressive standards. Failure to follow the norm results in ruthless backlash and even being expelled. Therefore, it is unsurprising that people would mask their true identities because they fear rejection. Society’s oppression is most notable in how lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) members are treated. Despite social and policy changes, people from this community still face a lot of rejection. Since time immemorial, many homosexual people were referred to closet gay because they could not openly declare their sexual orientation. Taking that risk could even result in death from lynching mobs. In effect, suicide and depression rates among this populous skyrocketed. It is not that they were less human, but because their sexual orientation diverged from the norm, they were severely punished. Although people are more accepting today, the challenge persists. Another notable example is the role of women. Until recently, women were anticipated to be household queens who cleaned after their children and husbands. In fact, the success of a woman was measured by her ability to keep her marriage intact and raise her children right. However, when females began demanding equality, this notion was at first mocked and thought impossible. After years of activism, a glimpse of hope finally emerged, and women were recognized to be more than housekeepers. Regardless, there are still society-imposed challenges to counter. To date, women are still expected to be perfect homemakers. Additionally, they still suffer across all professions because men and even women still believe that they are not good enough for the corporate world. From the illustrations, it is clear that social norms still dictate how people live, and any changes are harshly met. Unfortunately, the victims of the oppressive norm hardly get any pardon and instead, are condemned. Society’s value on identity could be harmful and hamper any efforts in attaining identity.

I disagree that it is impossible to form an individual sense of identity. Gergen (413) asserts that individuals are incapable of having a distinct identity and even stresses that it would yield emotional distress. Despite influences, it is possible for a person to carve out an identity that makes them stand out. In fact, it is more common to have individuals who are immune to influences and are uncompromising in their beliefs. Nelson Mandela, for instance, was an iconic figure renowned for his tolerance and determination. Although he was imprisoned in Robben Island in solitary confinement for 27 years because of his anti-apartheid campaigns. Despite threats, the pressure to be with his family, and pleas with politicians and Europeans, Nelson remained headstrong. Equally surprising was that he encouraged the black South Africans to coexist with the whites and form a ‘rainbow nation.’ Despite harsh criticism from his people, who wanted the white man to go, he still held his ground. Even in his death, his actions have made him a legend that many leaders can only dream of. Looking at Mandela’s story, it is clear that people can remain true to themselves in the wake of opposition and social influences. Another example is Rosa Parks. Rosa partook in the 1955 Montgomery bus boycott. In an era where women were supposed to be meek, she was an outspoken lady. Worse still, as a black woman, she had a tougher life than her white counterparts. Despite these odds being stacked against her, she became a civil rights activist and garnered the support of popular movement parties like the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP). Park’s demand for reforms eventually led to the integration of all races in the transport industry. As a black woman, Rose is a credible example of people’ capacity to create and retain their identity. Unlike what Gergen’s belief that people cannot have an identity, history and even daily occurrences demonstrate the contrary.

I agree with most of Gergen’s notions like approval makes individuals adopt different identities, positive influence affects perception and the detrimental impact of society’s value on identity, but I differ with the view that it is impossible to form an individual sense of identity. To get what we want, we often resort to doing things that would please other people, which in itself is putting up a mask that fits the occasion. Moreover, we are addicted to positive feedback, which encourages us to have a positive attitude about ourselves and boosts our self-worth. Admittedly, the value that society attaches to identity is at times oppressive especially to those, like women and the LGBT community that choose to go against the norm. However, it is possible to form an individual sense of identity. While it is true that people put up masks when interacting with others, it is possible to remain true to oneself.

Work Cited

Gergen, Kenneth. In defense of masks. Writing assignments, 2014.

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