Lesson 4

What are your main take away lessons from the assigned reading this week? Describe and explain.

The week’s reading has delved on improving interpersonal relationships. Adler et al. (2014) assert that “At times even the best of friends, the closest of families and the most productive coworkers become dissatisfied” (p. 238). As a result, people have to learn how to improve important relationships since turbulence is likely to be experienced now and then. When it comes to communication climate, “personal relationships are a lot like the weather. Some are fair and warm, whereas others are stormy and cold; some are polluted and others healthy. Some relationships have stable climates, whereas others change dramatically- calm one moment and turbulent the next” (Adler et al., 2014, p. 239). How people communicate goes a long way in determining the climate of the relationship. Positive communication usually enhances a positive climate, which in turn translates to favorable relationships. This is because it shows that there are no prevalent issues that are hindering the relationship.

Use of confirming and disconfirming messages play in making some climates either positive or negative. When people think that other people view them as being important, this aspect is likely to make them feel good about the relationship at hand. By contrast, the relationship tends to suffer when people get the notion that others do not care about them. With this in mind, there is the need of using confirming messages in relationships to help boost a positive climate. Confirming communication takes place in three increasing positive levels that include recognition, acknowledgment, and endorsement.

The reading has also touched on interpersonal conflict. Regardless of the communication climate being positive, conflicts are likely to arise in interpersonal relationships. However, this does not mean that the conflicts should work to ruin the existing relationships. Use of effective communication can help in improving these relationships. Conflict cannot be eliminated entirely, but it can be managed. While trying to solve the conflicts at hand, it is important for the conflicting parties to understand the nature of the conflict to determine the way forward.

How will they affect the way you communicate?

Reading this chapter has helped me to understand the detrimental effects that disconfirming messages can have on relationships. As a result, I will always strive to use confirming messages while communicating with people I share important relationships with. This form of communication will not only be seen verbally but also through non-verbal communication. Non-verbal communication tends to communicate a lot to people that are trying to decipher what others think about them.

The understanding that conflict exists in all relationships has worked as a comfort for me. At times when conflicts arise, there is the tendency of believing that things are at their worst now. Having this understanding gives me the notion that I do not have to hide my true feelings on some issues with the objective of avoiding conflicts. I will now be communicating freely, and any conflict that might arise as a result will be resolved using the appropriate mechanisms. Avoiding conflicts does not necessarily make things better; it might make things even worse due to the piling up of unresolved issues.

 

In what ways do the concepts in the videos and readings relate to your professional life in education?

The reading involved with this week elaborated on interpersonal relationships. Most of the aspects involved can be related to everyone’s professional life given that we tend to develop different forms of relationships in the process. When it comes to the videos, “You is Smart, You is Kind, You is Important” demonstrates aspects of confirming messages. The words being fed to the child are quite positive. These are words that would go a long way in building the confidence of the child. The communication climate between the two is quite positive, and this works to boost the relationship involved. This is something that I can apply in my professional life when I am working with junior employees. I would use confirming messages to ensure that I encourage them at all times to help build their confidence hence their working prospects.

The video “Sheldon’s Mother Visits” on the other hand portrays good examples of disconfirming messages. There is a lot of sarcasm involved that seems to be affecting the targeted parties negatively. The climate created is turning out to be negative given the interpersonal relationships involved.  In my professional life, I would ensure that I avoid such forms of sarcasm since the people around are likely to perceive them differently. It is likely to affect interpersonal relationships negatively.

 

Reference

Adler, R., Rodman, G., & DuPré, A. (2014). Understanding human communication (12th ed.). Oxford University Press.

 

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