Why People Lie

Lies can be defined as false statements directed to a person or a group of people with knowledge that the information is not true. Lying is a normal daily practice which forms part and parcel of human life. Lying is a complex act and several people are involved in it for given purposes while others just find themselves lying. While to some people it is a personality/trait, to others it is just for purpose. Though there are several explanations as to why people tell lies, it is Important to understand that the root cause as to why people tell lies is because the consequences of telling the truth are too much to bear.  This paper will discuss several facts as to why people lie.

Self esteem has been a main motivator for people to lie. In most cases, people will be tempted to tell lies if they feel that their self esteem is at risk of being compromised. Under such circumstances, culprits will big to lie at higher levels to maintain their standards. For instance, if a discussion about a topic is introduced among peers, a person with less information on the topic may be tempted to tell lies to maintain self esteem (Vrij, 2011).

Another explanation as to why people tell lie can be conflict avoidance. In most cases, people will tend to tell small white lies in order to maintain social contacts and avoid conflicts and insults. An example of situations where such kinds of lies can be told is in relationship cases.  For instance, a lover can be tempted to tell lies to the partner just to ensure that their love is not compromised. Such instances of lies can be told just to make life easier.

Lack of courage from individuals can be a major reason why people tell lies. If a person is faced with a challenge and lacks problem solving skills or ability to handle the situation, then telling lies could be easier escape route. At times, individuals are faced with very tough situations and they may lack courage to face them and thus resulting to lies (Ekman, 2009). For example, a religious person may be forced to tell lies if faced with a difficult situation and still needs to remain religiously observant.

Seeking attention can also lead to people telling lies. In some instances, some people may feel overlooked by their peers and thus leading to low level of self confidence.  As result of this, victims may try to fake stories in order to gain some of the lost attention. This form of lying is mostly common among people within the same age group or with common interests. For example, a student may decide to tell lies to fellow students on where he spent the holidays just to ensure that he is noticed  (Bradley, 2005).

Some people tend to tell lies just to hide crucial information. In most cases, these kinds of lies are experienced in relationships.  This is because relationships are accompanied with a set of expectations and the players must ensure they are conversant with them and act in good faith. The society also expects us to live in a certain way and failure to do that will render us being deviant. For instance, if a lover traverse boundary, then it is expected that all is not well within the relationship. As a result, the victim may be tempted to tell lies in order to safeguard the relationship (Vrij, 2011). By hiding information, the relationship partner will not know the sins committed and thus life will go on as usual without incidences of quarrel and disagreements.

People may also tend to tell lies in order to get incentives or benefits as result. In most cases, individuals may be tempted to tell lies if they feel that by so doing they are likely to benefit. For example, individuals who do not meet the job requirements may opt to lie on their resumes or during interviews with an intention of securing employment. Even though the lies are not ill intended, the fact remains that victims can handle the consequences of admitting that they lack the necessary requirements for the job (Ekman, 2009).

People may also be tempted to tell lies in cases of painful or embarrassing information. In most cases,, people may not be willing to discuss extremely emotionally painful, shameful and embarrassing issue especially if it is personal. In most cases, people will tend to hide shame and pain from the rest in the society. For instance, a person may not disclose all the information on their marital disputes to the public and in most cases they will tend to tell lies.

Another fact that explains why people always tell lies is because it becomes a habit.  As people lack the confidence to tell the truth, continuous telling of lies among individuals may lead to the involved persons developing that habit. The habit of telling lies is formed just like other habits are formed. This habit is usually developed at a tender age of around three years and as a person grows it becomes part of life. In most cases, lying results to ‘safety’ and thus once developed, it becomes incredibly difficult to break the vice (Vrij, 2011).

 

References

Bradley, L. (2005). Book of lies. Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Pub..

Ekman, P. (2009). Telling Lies: Clues to Deceit in the Marketplace, Politics, and Marriage (revised ed.). Chichester, UK: W. W. Norton.

Vrij, A. (2011). Detecting Lies and Deceit Pitfalls and Opportunities. (2nd ed.). Hoboken: John Wiley & Sons.

 

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